Below is a loose copy of the conversation I had with BT yesterday.... towards the end I lost the will to live and decided to have a giggle!
BT Man: "the property you are moving to currently has service until 13th July"
Me: "no it doesn't it was empty"
BT Man: "Property A currently has service"
Me: "Yes it does, that where I live now"
BT Man: "No, thats where your moving too."
Me: "No thats where I live now, im moving to Property B."
BT Man: "Yes thats right, your moving from Property A to Property A"
Me "No, from Property A to Property B"
BT Man: "Ah yes, I see now."
Me "So can the service move on the 6th"
BT Man "No cause your new property has BT already"
Me "What new property"
BT Man "Property A"
Me "Right OK, This is how it is...I currently live at Property A...Yes?
BT Man "Yes"
Me "I am moving to Property B"
BT Man "Ah I get it now"
Me "So can the service switch on Friday"
BT Man "I will have to complete a new order and contact Openreach"
Me "So will that be today"
BT Man "SLA is 4 Hours"
BT Man "OK will call once I hear from Openreach!"
So no called back….
Called BT again.
BT Woman “Your moving to Property B on the 7th July”
Me “Yes that’s correct”
BT Woman “Property B currently has service with another provider”
Me “No it doesn’t I have had that house for 2 months now and nothing there!”
BT Woman “No the Engineers say you can have a line there”
BT Woman “I can place you a new order for a new line”
Me “How long will that take”
BT Woman “4 to 6 Weeks”
Me “I have had work done to the house and you want to add new box’s and caballing”
BT Woman “if you want service, that’s what the engineer says”
BT Woman “I will put you through to Order Management who will explain”
BT Pune “Sir, the property you are moving to currently has service and you cant have service”
Me “I cant move my BT at all”
BT Pune “Sir, yes, but not until the 13th July”
Me “Why so long”
BT Pune “We have to take ownership of the line”
Me “Who from”
BT Pune “I cant tell you that sir”
Me “I have had that house for 2 months and there is no service there”
BT Pune “Yes there is, you will need to contact the other provider”
Me “Who is that”
BT Pune “I cant tell you that sir”
Me “Can you tell me anything?”
BT Pune “I can order you a new line”
Me “I don’t want a new line, I want the line that is there activating on the 7th July as promised”
BT Pune “We cannot do that sir”
Me “Is this call recorded”
BT Pune “Sir, let me get my supervisor”
Me “Thank you”
BT Pune Supervisor “Sir you cant have your line until 13th July”
BT Pune Supervisor “The line is owned by another company and still active, you need to speak to the current owner”
Me “I am the current owner, I have had it for 2 months….and there is no active service there”
BT Pune Supervisor “Sir, yes there is”
Me “Please explain to me how there is an active service at an address I own for the last 2 months”
BT Pune Supervisor “You need to speak to the previous owner”
Me “How, with Doris Stokes?”
BT Pune Supervisor “Sir I don’t know, do you know their address or phone number”
Me “YES I LIVE THERE AND HAVE THEIR NUMBER!”
BT Pune Supervisor “Yes Sir, in the mean time in Property A I can leave the service activated for another week”
Me “Do I sit outside of Property A and use the internet then?”
BT Pune Supervisor “Sir, I am trying to assist you”
Me “I understand, I just want my phone line please”
BT Pune Supervisor “Sir, Property B currently has ser…”
Me “Not this again, I have heard…..”
BT Pune Supervisor “Please don’t interrupt me sir when I am trying to explain the situation”
Me “Sorry for being pedantic, but you just interrupted me telling me off for interrupting you”
BT Pune Supervisor “Sir, as I have explained the situation, is there anything else I can help you with?”
Me “Yes, can you tell me what size crocodile clip I need for my washing machine waste pipe, I don’t know the size”
BT Pune Supervisor “Sir, I am not aware of this issue”
Me “Don’t worry, thank you for your time and entertainment today, I have loved every minute”
BT Pune Supervisor “Thank you for calling BT Today”
To be fair to any ISP you could be malicious neighbour wanting to disrupt a service etc. That reminds me I have just brought Buckingham Palace, I'm phoning my choice of ISP now 😉
Oh. My. God...
That was just ineptly hilarious! Thats just like the kind of post I would write. And you have my sympathies too.
But could you please just clarify one thing? - Err, which property are you moving to?
Ha ha ha! Oh dear. Poor. Poor. Poor.
You need to get the Mods involved on this one. BT have clearly fluffed-up your order. The term @rse and elbow come to mind.
Here you go - Contact BT Care Team. They'll sort this out no problem.
Hope you get it sorted soon.
I have just brought Buckingham Palace
I wondered why Pickfords were moving a throne and some snappy little dogs into the house opposite yesterday.
Nearly as close as the my first conversation i had with B.T, i requested for interleaving to be turned off on my line, and the operator interpreted that i wanted to leave B.T. I'd only been with B.T for a month! lol!
What was it gmidgley said again? Just bought some new glasses.