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Ocean
Aspiring Expert
359 Views
Message 11 of 16

Re: Don`t Worry Be Happy

With sincere apologies to all women Smiley Happy

 

 

 

An absolutely Brilliant Joke, ENJOY!!! 
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the  ball into the woods.  She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog  in a trap. 
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I  will grant you three wishes."  The woman freed the frog, and the frog said,  "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. 
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times of it!" The woman  said, "That's okay." 
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most 
beautiful woman in the world.  The frog warned her, "You do realize that this  wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis  whom women will floc to".  The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will  be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."  So, KAZAM-  she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! 
For her second wish, she  wanted to be the richest woman in the world.  The frog said, "That will make  your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. "   The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's  his is mine." 
So, KAZAM- she's the richest woman in the world! 
The  frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like to have a  mild heart attack." 
Moral of the story: 
Women are cleve r. Don't 
mess with them. 

Attention  female readers: 
This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue  feeling good 

Male 
readers: Please scroll down. 

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The man had a heart attack ten times  "milder" than his wife!!! 

Moral of the story  Women are really dumb but think they're really smart 

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show 

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!! 

You can forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humour 🙂

. . . it must be remembered that the sea is a great breeder of friendship. Two men who have known each other for twenty years find that twenty days at sea bring them nearer than ever they were before, or else estrange them.
0 Ratings
Ocean
Aspiring Expert
342 Views
Message 12 of 16

Re: Don`t Worry Be Happy

A man and a couple of his friends had just finished a round of golf at the country club and they were changing their shoes when a cell phone on the bench rang. The man picked it up and answered it.

"Hi honey," said the woman on the other end.
"Hi honey," replied the man.

"I was just calling to tell you about this fur coat I found today. It's beautiful fox fur and I just love the way it looks on me. It's on sale too, a real bargain. It's down to $2000 from $4000. Can I get it?" The man thought about it for a second and said, "You're sure it's a good deal?"
"Oh yes," replied the woman.
"Okay then, I guess you can get it," replied the man.

The woman continued, "Oh, and you know how we've been thinking about getting rid of the Lexus and getting a new Jaguar? Well, I went to the dealership today and the guy gave me a real deal. He said he'd lower the price from $50,000 to $35,000 just for me. Can I get it?"
The man thought a little harder and said,"If you're sure it's a good deal, then yes, go ahead and get the Jaguar."

The woman continued again. "Oh, one last thing, honey. Remember that house we saw last month that we really liked, but decided we'd wait and think about? Well, it's on the market again, so I checked the price. It's down to $450,000 and I checked with the bank and we have enough in the checking account so that I can just write a check. Should I get it?"
The man got a frown on his face and said, "See if you can get them down to $420,000. If they'll go down to that, go ahead and get it."

The woman was extremely excited. "Okay honey, thank you so much! I'll see you when I get home! Bye!"

"Bye," said the man. He hung up the phone and looked at the other men in the locker room and said, "Does anyone know whose phone this is?"

 

Smiley Very HappySmiley Very HappySmiley Very Happy

. . . it must be remembered that the sea is a great breeder of friendship. Two men who have known each other for twenty years find that twenty days at sea bring them nearer than ever they were before, or else estrange them.
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Ocean
Aspiring Expert
341 Views
Message 13 of 16

Re: Don`t Worry Be Happy

A man died and went to The Judgment, they told him , “Before you meet with God,  I should tell you — we’ve looked over your life, and to be honest you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not really sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?”

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a person who was being harassed by a group of thugs. So I pulled over, got out a bat, and went up to the leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced through his lip. Well, I tore the  ring out of his lip, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this guy or they would have to deal with me!”

“Wow that’s impressive, “When did this happen?”

“About three minutes ago,” came the reply.

 

. . . it must be remembered that the sea is a great breeder of friendship. Two men who have known each other for twenty years find that twenty days at sea bring them nearer than ever they were before, or else estrange them.
0 Ratings
Ocean
Aspiring Expert
339 Views
Message 14 of 16

Re: Don`t Worry Be Happy

Three men, a Frenchman, an Italian, and a Jew, were condemned to be executed. Their captors told them that they had the right to have a final meal before the execution. They asked the Frenchman what he wanted.
“Give me some good French wine and French bread,” he requested. So they gave it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him.
Next it was the Italian’s turn. Give me a big plate of pasta,” said the Italian. So they brought it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him.
Now it was the Jew’s turn. “I want a big bowl of strawberries, ” said the Jew.
“Strawberries!!! They aren’t even in season!”
“So, I’ll wait…”

 

. . . it must be remembered that the sea is a great breeder of friendship. Two men who have known each other for twenty years find that twenty days at sea bring them nearer than ever they were before, or else estrange them.
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CraigS
Moderator-Retired
305 Views
Message 15 of 16

Re: Don`t Worry Be Happy

What's brown and flies?

 


Super spud!  😄

 

 

Harr harr harr

 

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Ocean
Aspiring Expert
263 Views
Message 16 of 16

Re: Don`t Worry Be Happy

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 lbs.

Why do gorillas have huge nostrils?

Because they have huge fingers!

 

. . . it must be remembered that the sea is a great breeder of friendship. Two men who have known each other for twenty years find that twenty days at sea bring them nearer than ever they were before, or else estrange them.
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