BT only push software updates to BT equipment, the likelihood of any BT updates affecting your Asus router in any way is zero and they certainly won't cause it to restart.
Presumably your Asus connects to a white OpenReach box with a number of lights on it, are any of them red and is the one labelled LOS permanently out or is it flashing
Maybe the update from Asus caused it to factory reset and now all its settings for connecting to the BT network are lost?
Your son will need to double check that it still has the username bthomehub@btbroadband.com and password BT set on it next time he can come over.
Thanks for the reply,I'm sure my son will figure it out for me when he has a moment.
If you want something that just plugs in and works, use the BT router. That is what it is intended for, plug and play for non techies. You still haven't said why you don't want to use it.
Going back to your original post:
Why is it that b.t basically force you to have one of their routers? The short answer is that they don't, many people use their own equipment.
I've had my own router and it worked perfectly before b.t shoved updates through it. As already advised, BT cannot and do not shove updates through non-BT branded equipment, it simply wouldn't be worth their time or effort.
Now I've had to have one of the b t routers just to access Internet. Bearing in mind that you are not technical, what are your objections to using the BT hub, at least then BT can ensure that you always have the latest software and can assist when things go wrong.
I'm not very good at configuring technical equipment and can't do it myself. Why would bts updates change the way that the router I had bought change? As I said earlier, no BT updates are going to make a ha'pence of difference to non BT equipment such as Asus.
I checked the router and it says there's no problem with the actual router, the fault is with bt but when I spoke to bt there wasn't an issue. Idk what to do. Another reason to use a BT router, the BT technical team do not have the capability to assist when third party equipment goes wrong so, as you are now finding out, it falls on you to help yourself.
I'm sorry if those are not the answers you wanted to hear but from all that you've said so far, I believe that using a BT supplied hub would be your best bet